~Bryan's place of dirty lil' secrets~

Do.. Don't...

i don't blog anymore.

why don't i blog anymore?

i have two ideas on why i don't blog anymore.

either it's because people don't care anymore.
do people still care about me anymore?
do people still care about stuffs i blogged anymore?
i have no idea whether do people still care or not, but nobody ever tell me they do anymore, so the assumption by default is they don't anymore.

another idea i have is that i myself don't care anymore.
do i still care about blogging anymore?
do i still care about expressing myself to people i know or i don't know?
do i still care about what other people think of what i've blogged anymore?
do i still care about how people view me anymore?
this i'm not that sure because it just doesn't feel the same anymore.
where was the motivation, the urge to blog i once had not that long ago?
gone, all gone.

there are other minor factors involved too, like my forever-unstable streamyx line, or the fact that friendster is getting less and less popular after the emergence of facebook... or my laziness.. and other stuffs..

but back to the topic, yeah i guess it's between "do people care" or "do i care" anymore.
and just to make a proper conclusion to this post, i think it's a mixture of a bit of both that stops me from blogging nowadays.

do people care do i care... DOs and DON'Ts..

anyway, here's my new blog i've started...

go have a look cuz i'll probably be updating that blog more often than this from 2day onwards.. tq very much everyone...

something meaningful i saw

農場与國X的故事（大马车主必看）

讓我說個農場的故事﹐讓你知道什麼是國x說的"津貼"。。。

在一個農場裡﹐每天可以生產10粒蘋果。農場裡有5個工人和 1個場主﹐總共 6個人。他們每天一人吃一粒蘋果﹐就足夠維持農場裡的運作﹐所以還有剩下4粒蘋果。

場主把這4粒蘋果賣了﹐一粒RM10。結果賺了 RM40。場主把這RM40拿來提昇農場裡的所有設施﹐設備﹐但是一天最多也需要RM25罷了。多出的RM10就拿來發給5個工人﹐每人有 RM2。還有RM5拿來當作自己的盈利。

日子這樣下去﹐這個農場就變得很先進而且工人的住宿和環境都是一流的。5個工人也存了一筆錢。

但是不久這個好場主去世了﹐來了個新場主。新場主說﹕"我們要提昇農場素質﹐要有一流的思維。現在你們吃的蘋果﹐需要 RM1.00。但是你想想﹐這是很便宜的﹐你去外面買蘋果一粒要 RM10叻﹗"

工人沒辦法﹐就繼續做工和每天給 RM1.00 來吃他們以前每天吃的免費蘋果。結果他們現在每天只得到 RM1.00。

現在﹐新場主還是把多餘的 4粒蘋果拿去賣﹐賺了 RM40﹐還是像從前一樣﹐RM25拿來提昇設施﹐RM10就拿來發給5個工人﹐RM5拿來當作自己的盈利﹐再來﹐現在那5粒蘋果他賣給工人﹐賺了RM5.00。現在他共有每天RM10.00盈利。

不久﹐蘋果售價突然大漲了一倍﹐外面售價 RM20一粒。現在新場主還是把多餘的 4粒蘋果拿去賣﹐大賺了 RM80。

農場的設施提昇工程現在換了是新場主的朋友承包。新場主的朋友說﹐蘋果售價大漲﹐設施提昇工程的費用也要漲價了﹐變成RM50。其實真正費用才RM30﹐新場主把多出來的 RM20和他的朋友平分。

現在新場主有﹐
RM10 (和他的朋友平分的提昇工程費)
RM20 的盈利(RM80-RM50-RM10=RM20)
RM5 的賣蘋果給自己員工賺的錢。
總共是RM35.00。比起以前的RM10﹐新場主多賺了RM25.00﹗

哇﹗﹗﹗暴利叻﹐蘋果售價突然大漲﹐農場賺多了 RM25.00。但是工人還是每天只賺取RM1.00。

但是﹐貪心的新場主卻招來 5位員工﹐對他們說﹐"你們看看﹐蘋果現在的市場售價是 RM20 一粒﹐但是你們卻用 RM1.00來買一粒蘋果﹐你看你們多幸運﹗" "我就辛苦了﹐我需要津貼你們每人 RM19.00﹐總共 RM95.00 來給你們蘋果吃啊﹐你看農場的津貼負擔多麼的重﹗"

"農場真的很辛苦了﹐再這樣下去﹐農場會破產﹐倒閉。現在我賣你們每粒蘋果 RM1.50 吧﹐我辛苦一點來津貼RM18.50。"

那麼現在新場主的暴利又增加了﹐RM20 + RM10 + RM7.50 = RM37.50。又賺多了RM2.50。這 RM2.50
是從哪裡賺來的﹖就是從自己工人的口袋賺來的。
現在我問你們﹐比起當蘋果還沒暴漲前和暴漲後﹐農場主變辛苦了還是變有錢了﹖

之前﹐RM10.00﹐之後﹐RM37.50。這麼簡單﹐你不是看不明白吧﹖

場主說津貼很辛苦﹐有嗎﹖他有從他自己口袋拿出那個他所謂的 RM95 的蘋果津貼嗎﹖農場有因為津貼而破產嗎﹖他現在比起之前賺多了 3.75倍﹗會破產嗎﹖

所以說﹐別被主流媒體的"津貼論"騙去了。國X成員說國家會破產﹐你相信了嗎﹖國X政府從以前一直以來都沒有從口袋裡拿出"津貼"來給我們。

說 520億汽油津貼﹐哪裡來的﹖這筆錢從來都沒有出現過﹗

現在國X政府起油價﹐其實就是伸手進我們的口袋來搶我們的錢。你認命嗎﹖你就這樣站著給它伸手進你的口袋拿走你的錢嗎﹖


a lot of people are naive, hence they do not see the truth and believes what people tell them.
sometimes, the truth may not be as it seems...

Inferior

Inferior

it's a feeling i seldom felt
a feeling i'm unfamiliar with

i've always been good at many things in all my life

i was always great in sports
was physically in great shape
i had the best stamina
had the best balance
could jump the highest
and run the fastest

i'm intelligent in many different ways
and i'm quite good with my studies as well (the only problem with this i was always lazy, but let's 4get about it here XD)

i'm artistically gifted, sort of cuz that's what everyone who saw my end product says
and i'm interested and dedicated once i've started anything that has to do with arts
hence i think i'm a perfectionist in a good way (in my honest opinion XP)

i'm decently good looking
and although i'm not exactly tall
i don't see that as a disadvantage in any ways
hence i'm overally satisfied with my outlook

i was brought up in family with good culture and background
a family with strict rules but an open mindset
and was luckily born into a financially able household
i do not exactly get everything i want
but i do get everything i need
and some more which i don't really need but want ^^P

i deal with people fairly well
i started out quite shy while i was a kid
but now things has change and i think i'm doing okay socially

friends tend to look to me for advice when in need
and i honestly think i have that extra bit of initiative many teens nowadays are lacking
people tend to look at me while making decisions
and i don't shy away from making one (actually i have no choice cuz most of my frens are "watever" type of people =..=)

i have many assets which i myself regards as important to me being a person, for both the present and my future.
i think i'm doing well in my life, hence i do have a sense of self belief and confidence while going through my days.
well, that was so far, so good.


but today, i once again had that unfamiliar encounter with the feeling Inferior.
i went to a futsal game with some of my pals
and i found out i wasn't the same me as i was a few years back
i have lost that extra edge in my physical side
i remember there was a time
when i was playing football few years ago
although my footwork skills are not that much better than many
i used to outrun everybody, in terms of speed, acceleration, and stamina
i could speed up the quickest, run the fastest, and run the longest

now
after long periods of not doing regular exercise
and after long periods of being sick
i am Inferior
i've lost that extra bit of acceleration
my stamina has decrease to the point that i think it is totally disgusting
and my strength and balance are not as good as they used to

Bryan 2 or 3 years ago was better physically
and the Bryan today are not one bit happy about this fact
from today onwards
i vow that i will do all i can to regain that advantage i used to held
things i regard as one of my important assets, i will certainly find a way to acquire it back
grant me the strength and perseverance to work out more, to do more exercise, and hence to become stronger and healthier. amen.

i seriously do not like being Inferior to anyone =.="

true and untrue

What Bryan Chong Jun Hao Means

You are full of energy. You are spirited and boisterous.
You are bold and daring. You are willing to do some pretty outrageous things.
Your high energy sometimes gets you in trouble. You can have a pretty bad temper at times.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.
You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.
You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.
You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.
A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.



You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life.
You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone.
Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.

You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you.
You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries.
You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.
And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.
You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

*weird*

give it a try @ HERE

itchy...

我~~~~~~~要~~~~~~~~~踢~~~~~~~~~~~球~~~~~~~~~~
我~~~~~~~~要~~~~~~~~~發~~~~~~~~~~泄~~~~~~~~~~

喂... 誰都好啦.. 要踢球叫mai我去啦~~~~

很閒nie...

很久沒做激烈運動了﹐渾身不爽 X.X

很久沒感受到進球的那種快感了... 腳癢癢的 =..="

很久沒滿身大汗了﹗﹗﹗ behtahan鳥~~~

頂...

我要我要我要我要我要我要我要踢球~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

閒...

~成就感~

                                                  劉備

this is one of my 21st bday present that i've received from the guys, and it's one of my favorite since i've been longing for a toy as my present for a pretty long time XD

well here i am talking about something i did that made me feel really good.

there will always be a time where you do something that maybe you've haven't done in a long time, something that you used to enjoy doing but in the process of life, you somehow managed to forget about that important thing that you used to do.

lately i've found back that feeling and that something that i used to really love doing, and it's obviously have something to do with toys ^^

i truly believe that in every guy, there lives a little boy inside that will never ever disappear, even how old you grow or how long time passes, there will always be a boy in every man's heart.

i've been in contact with the boy in me lately and i like the feel of it.
it has been too long since i've done something with effort, with perseverance and most importantly, with passion.

this little guy(robot actually) that i did proved that deep down in me, i still love to play my toys, whether it's big or small cheap or expensive, i would put all i can into it if i'm really interested.

don't believe me?
apart from all the collections that the guys given me(all 6 of them), i've bought colourings and tools amounting to RM150++, and for this first attempt to build the lil guy, i've taken 3 days plus to finish it, and it's just one of the 8 i have! (i myself have bought another 2 from the collection XD)

here's the process of the 3 days in making "劉備":

1st day,

here's the lil guy naked, without any of his armour and weapons, this is the first part i did when assembling the robot.

notice that there are black lines surrounding some of its body parts, all of it is drawn by me using a special marker pen, it's actually to make it look more real with certain sections of it needing to be darker than the others.
this i may say is one of hardest "drawing" i've ever ever done.
i remember the first line i drawn on it my hands was trembling like shit, sooooo long din practice the artistic side of me edy suddenly wanna draw stuffs, memang expected la...

then apart from drawing with the marker, i also had to find my confidence in handling the paint brush again, since there is also a lot of painting involved if really wanna make it look nice. note the gold colour part of his feet, it's the first paint i did on the lil guy, and yes my hands were shaking as hell with the initial touch... XD

"i'm warning you, don't mess with me!!!" XD

2nd day,

din't make much progress in the second day, bcuz my painting skills haven't fully returned yet, so i was kinda slow with all the paintings, only managed to finish his helmet and some part of his upper armour.

3rd day,

finally, after 3 days of hard work, 劉備is finally ready to be displayed proudly ^^P
after this project, i've realized some certain things needed to keep in mind when undergoing a model making.

first is that making a model is not hard, but it is the painting and decorating of the model that is bloody difficult.
then in order to make it decently nice, one must possess a certain degree of artistic ability, and a pair of stable hands.
after finishing the whole thing, i realized that drawing the lines is harder than painting the certain part that needs painting. the margin for error in drawing lines is so much smaller if compared with painting the colours, hence the added concentration needed when doing so.

here's more pictures of it (PS:click on the pictures to view a better quality of it),

front

back

now the lil' dude is up on my desk, and everytime i look at it i would surely feel a deep sense of satisfaction...
i guess this is what i'll get for doing the stuffs i love ^^

next up, i got 7 more to go~~
so bloody excited XD

Moodless

it's been 2 months+ since i last wrote my previous blog entry, hence with the free time now i'm here trying to put in a decent effort in updating my blog.

but it seems, seems that i'm having some sort of a problem about myself that i can't bring myself to with.

i'm basically moodless.

moodless in doing stuffs i used to enjoy doing once awhile ago, like blogging.

maybe it's my lifeless life i'm going through lately that has been the cause of this, nothing special really happened to me in these recent times, and i haven't done much in any way significant enough to jot down and share with people.

but i suspect it could be the fact that stuffs did actually happened to me, some pretty good and some bad to a certain degree.
it's just that i missed all those moments, not in a sense that i was absent at the time it was going on, but my mind was elsewhere and my soul wandering wayward, and it may as well was due to me being virtually, moodless.

it's approaching almost 1 year since i have this sickness with my tummy, and i'm not one bit satisfied with the slow progress in recovering from it.
i hate the fact that i have to cope with this issue in everything i do, i have to factor in everything before i do anything, from preparations beforehand to thinking of consequences of doing something that may be harmful to myself, to this extent i am now and this is the sorry state i am in currently.
and frankly putting it, i fucking hate this shit.

i've been kinda hiding from the world for quite a long time, but it wasn't voluntarily.
i've been reluctantly kept from the world because i couldn't cope with having this problem while at the same time facing other stuffs people poses to me.
that's why people tend to render me missing.
"where have you been?"
"what had you've been doing all these while?"
"it's been a long time!"

yes my friend, it has indeed been a long time.

swt, my mind empty edy now.

that's all for now, will come back in a better mood...

The Darkest Day: 6 Feb 1958

February 6 will forever be circled on the calendars of everyone connected with Manchester United.

On that day in 1958, the darkest day in United's history, 23 people, including eight players and three members of the club's staff, suffered fatal injuries in the Munich air crash.

Flying back from a European Cup tie against Red Star Belgrade, the team plane stopped in Germany to refuel. The first two attempts to take off from Munich airport were aborted; following a third attempt, the plane crashed.

Twenty-two of the people on board died instantly, while Duncan Edwards(ManUtd legendary young defender) - one of the eight victims from the team - died 15 days later as a result of the injuries he sustained.

The tragedy is an indelible part of United's history, as is Sir Matt Busby overcoming his injuries to build another great team which won the European Cup 10 years later.

Roger Byrne (28), Eddie Colman (21), Mark Jones (24), David Pegg (22), Tommy Taylor (26), Geoff Bent (25), Liam Whelan (22) and Duncan Edwards (21) all died, along with club secretary Walter Crickmer, trainer Tom Curry and coach Bert Whalley.

Eight journalists died - Alf Clarke, Tom Jackson, Don Davies, George Fellows, Archie Ledbrook, Eric Thompson, Henry Rose, and Frank Swift who was a former Manchester City player. Plane captain Ken Rayment perished, as did Sir Matt's friend Willie Sanitof. Travel agent Bela Miklos and passenger Tom Cable also died.

We will never forget.

~Glory glory Man United~

25/12/07 - Non-event

well,

this could well prove to be THE MOST BORING-EST CHRISTMAS i have ever gone through in my entire life...

i have never thought i will go through my Christmas of any year in this manner, which kinda surprise even myself that i actually in a sense "wasted" good ol' jolly Christmas like this...

so what did i do for Christmas?

well for starters i woke up early around 9am and went for a morning jog in FRIM with my parents..
then breakfast after the exercise, which actually was THE highlight of the day as I've encountered what possibly the most delicious wanton mee that I've eaten in Kuala Lumpur!!
(well the best wanton mee will still be in my hometown Ipoh, but I've eaten quite a lot of wanton mee in KL ever since i was a lil' boy, so it's safe to say that today the one I've eaten is really one of the best... XD)

the place, which was actually a lil' store near taman ehsan/kepong area that me and my family tried out while wandering around searching for lunch after the jog...
and in the end it turned out to be a simple but delicious meal!!!

a Christmas Meal for a total price of RM21 for 3 person, how economical Haha... being sarcastic i am XP

okay meal's finished so what's next?
surely after exercise i went home and got cleaned up, then accidentally fell asleep for an unexpected afternoon nap... Zzz..

then until i was woken up by my dad around 1 hour later, saying we'll be going to Midvalley "just for the sake of going out"...
my first reaction was.. "can dun wan ma..? lazy la... and tired summore.." haiz =..="

whatever, so i changed and put on my favorite new cap i've bought in Topman Pavilon 1 week ago... then out we go to MV..

there, we ate suckling pig/roasted pork/beef-in-a-claypot/vege served with rice as an early dinner at around 5pm... yummy stuffs again XD

dinner finished, with me having no particular thing in mind to do, thus i ended up using half-an hour in the Mag shop finishing a RM42 magazine that i couldn't afford to buy, an hour or so wandering around The Gardens, which previously i haven't checked it out seriously, and then sending another hour in Borders bookshop in the Gardens reading some more magazines and some Marvel Superman comics...

great.
now i'm home juz finished my single game in blueserver of the night and now writing my blog, feeling so empty ( '__' )
empty in a sense that the Christmas of 2007 has just pass me by without me enjoying any part of it like i should or used to.
empty in a sense that the year 2007 is going to pass me by without me doing anything significant or memorable the whole year apart from being sick for a prolonged period of time.
and i'm still single. HaHaHa.. how sad...
swt.

how time flies, how i wish time doesn't fly by so fast, so i can grab hold of the things i cherish the most, and not let time wash them away...

Father Christmas seems to have forgotten about me this year, i haven't received any presents yet this year, neither from Santa himself or from anyone i know.
my Christmas wish hasn't exactly come true either.
maybe i haven't been such a good boy the previous year, so this year kinda sucks for me izzit?
i whine too much. =.="

better go catch some sleep... may the emptiness be gone while i sleep..

newayz, hope everyone had a happy and wonderful Christmas...

Rain, rain, go away...

there was a song which i liked when i was really young, and it goes like this...

Rain, rain, go away,

Come again another day.

Rain, rain, go away.

Come again some other day.

Little Arthur wants to play,

In the meadow by the hay.

Rain, rain, go to Spain,

Never show your face again.

Rain, rain, pour down,

But not a drop on our town.

Rain on the green grass,

and rain on the tree,

And rain on the housetop,

but not on me.

Rain, rain, go away,

Come again on washing day.

Rain, rain, go to Germany,

And remain there permanently.

and yes, it has been raining non-stop for the last 2 to 3 days in my place...

when i wake up, the first thing i see outside is rain..
i eat my breakfast and there it is again outside, rain, rain, rain..
sometimes it'll grow small..
but after awhile it'll come back bigger...
outside all i see is blue and grey, the sky the mountains far far away...
all covered with rain and mist and cloud,
and all that's left is just as i said,
everything blue, and everything grey...

already i'm having some moody days,
still the it rains continuously
with me looking at it helplessly...
helplessly as though i am,
it, the rain stares me back in my face and pours down even more frantically..
as if laughing out loud that the fact i can't change a thing about it,
the fact that it can, and will still in the end, rain, rain, rain...

already moody and yet it remains the same..
24 hours i can smell the rain,
outside my window, outside my car, outside everywhere...
i can hear it dripping down the pillars onto my balcony,
from the sky high above to the drain down below...
it goes through the air,
down the walls,
splattering against the windows shut..
spat, spat, spat..
drip, drip, drip...

so yes i miss that song i used to sing out loud,
that song i used to sing out loud when i was a lil' kid,
which kinda goes like this...

rain, rain, go away...
like if u will, in my honest opinion,
come again another day..

today, today..
lil' Bryan really wanna play,
he's a tad moody, he's a tad down
so dear mr rain,
it's better, that u don't come today...


rain, rain, for now please don't stay,
lil' Bryan loves the rain occasionally..
but being moody and abit down today,
so he just wants you to disappear, temporary...
all he's asking for, is for you to go away, away, and away...

(swt, it's me being emo =.=" wtf...)